The Kind Gaze of God
Feelings of guilt, defeat, and shame can be overwhelming when we find ourselves acting in ways that we don’t approve of. Its not just that we do not like them, but that they are contrary to the way of living to which God calls us and we just seem to return to them again and again. We sink into feelings of condemnation that say, “I’m terrible!” or “If I really loved God, I’d be so different!” We become hopeless and cynical. Seeds of self contempt take root and grow with a voice that says, “I’m worthless and I’ll never measure up.” We craft a mask to present to the rest of the world and fear being seen for the person we see in ourselves. Thus, we learn to put on a pretty good show. It might not even feel like a mask, rather it might feel like just doing what needs to be done to survive. It becomes too overwhelming to admit what we really experience.
But, what if the narrative we tell ourselves, “real Christians don’t do that” is just plain unhelpful in this conversation. We’re not correcting somebody who is unaware of what kind of living God is inviting us to. We’re all too aware.
I think Jesus approaches things differently. In Romans 8 we read, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” There is an attitude of love, gentleness, and strength with which Jesus approaches our sin. He does not start with, “you suck,” but rather, “I don’t condemn you.” God is making a radical shift with us. The condemnation here (that we are freed from) is referring to some kind of punishment for our behavior — a kind of servitude to the consequences of it. The consequences go all the way back to Genesis where Adam steps into death and is separated from God. There is a tragic severing of intimate relationship that happened and that we experience. Through Jesus, God is bringing us life and reunion.
It’s kind of like the parable of the prodigal son (Lk 15:11-31). The father in this story does not condemn his son (either of them for that matter) but offers immense kindness, affection, and belonging. It is a belonging with no strings attached. The Father threw a party for his returned son and offered his other son the same thing! In Romans 8 this point is made about God’s relationship to us. ‘The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”(v.15)’ We are his sons and daughters through adoption and so, we are called not to live in fear of punishment. Being a part of his family, means getting to relax in his approval, affection, and celebration of us. He and his love of us are not going anywhere!
He knows that we have a hard time living according to what he had designed this restored, or repaired, life to be. In our sense of feeling defeated, worn down, or hopeless the Spirit is working in and through us. “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. (v.26)” We are not yet there and God acknowledges this. It is the paradox of living in the Kingdom of God. It has already arrived, and it is still coming into being and will not fully be realized until the coming of the new heaven and the new earth (Rev 21).
So, how does this shift the self condemnation we were talking about at the start of this blog? It seems like it is asking us to not live with a heart that sinks in self contempt. If God is looking at us with joy and affection, then we are invited to relax. Can I receive such an affectionate and kind gaze from the Father?
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship n through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. (Eph 1:4–6)