Feeling Down Today
Down and depressed days can swoop in on the unsuspecting heart like an owl at midnight on a rabbit grazing in the cool grass. The heart is taken aback and thrown into hopelessness under the weight of the seemingly unending circumstances that squeeze all lightness of spirit out. Everything can suddenly feel heavy and unmovable.
Depression has a way of acting unpredictably for those who suffer with it. It can move in at a moment’s notice. The brain seems unexplainably primed for it sometimes.
When this happens it is small steps that can help calm the onslaught and drain the pool of heaviness. When we are feeling depressed our normal activities can feel like we are trying to roll a boulder up a mountain that will ultimately send it back like the experience of Sisyphus who was punished to a life of futility by Zeus. It can be helpful to shift from your normal activities to something else.
Mourn what is bothering you. It is ok to be upset when something doesn’t go well. Acknowledge it and the ensuing sadness. You cannot move forward without acknowledging the loss that occurred. It might look like saying things like this to yourself: “I’m sad that I feel disconnected from my spouse and children,” or “I wish finances were in a better spot. This is not what I had envisioned at my age,” or “I don’t feel like I’m parenting very well right now.” Doing this allows for the circumstances and feelings to be processed. It also opens you up to being comforted. Psalm 34 says “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (NIV).
Use language that gives you space. When you talk to yourself about what you are feeling there is a difference between “I’m so messed up” and “I really messed things up.” The first statement is about me. It says I am broken. It leaves little room for change in the situation and heaps shame on me. The second allows me to see the messed up thing as separate from myself. I might have contributed to it, and because it is not implicitly part of me I can work on it. I can impact it for good. While we all mess things up and have sin, God does not condemn us or ask us to condemn ourselves. He offers us deep grace. In Romans 8 we read, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (NIV). God addresses us with such gentleness. What would happen if we used the same gentleness toward ourselves.
Try a reset. This can look like any number of things and might even look like some of the options below. For me, I’ll do things like listen to a recorded meditation, take a quick (20 minute) nap, take a shower, go for a drive, walk to the mailbox, go to the gym, and so on.
Change environments. What surrounds us has a profound impact on how we feel. If you find yourself in a dark and cluttered space on a regular basis, try moving to one that has more light and doesn’t remind you of a dungeon — get out of the basement office. Open curtains and windows. Take a walk in a beautiful space whether that is a garden, forest, or simply down a neighborhood trail.
Take action on something you can control. Life can feel pretty futile when circumstances start deteriorating in important areas. Sometimes these are not things we can control. Sometimes there might be a small aspect that we can influence. What might be possible? If nothing else, what can you do to change something for the better in another area of life. Maybe it means vacuuming the stairs, cleaning the bathroom, cutting the grass, or getting a car wash. It might mean paying a couple of bills that you have put off for more urgent matters.
Give yourself permission to live differently in this moment. Something is not working and your spirit is speaking to you. It is ok to listen and say, “Maybe, I just need something different today.” That could be a stop at a coffee shop/juice bar/donut shop,
Seek help. This might mean from a spouse, pastor, or friend. Alongside these people and the steps above, a good therapist will always be helpful in finding lasting relief.
PS — I’m naturally a bit of a melancholy person and this blog was birthed out of a need remind and encourage myself on one of those down days. It is good medicine that I not only counsel others on, but seek to employ myself.